Long-term travelers have low success rate in long-term relationships, an unscientific study

As I am finishing up most of my early, early 30's, I can't help but notice that everyone around me is either married or in a long-termed relationship. And yet I have remained perpetually single.

Unfortunately society has labeled women like me as spinsters because our reproductive system may never be used before its expiration date.

It's very annoying when relatives and friends ask me when I'm getting married when I don't have a significant other. Am I bitter about being single? Perhaps. But do I think being in a relationship would make me any happier? Absolutely not.


Being the observer I am, I noticed that most of my traveler friends are just as perpetually single like me. I also noticed people who are in committed relationship don't travel as much, or are more of vacationer than travelers. However, I do know a couple of people who are in long-term relationships who do travel often.

It's easy to assume that we travelers don't make good partners because we're commitment phoebes, lazy and can't keep a job. But wait a minute - there are tons of people like that who don't travel, so nix that theory out. Just like the chicken or the egg, it's hard to determine if one travels due to bad relationship experiences, or because traveling interferes with dating and mating.

Nevertheless I would like to present my own unscientific theories as to why travelers fail at keeping relationships afloat.

We're jaded. We're burnt out from bad relationships. I've met many long-term travelers who left good, high-paying jobs and sold their homes to escape the painful death of a relationship. When we know of a happier life beyond relationships, chances are we won't go back.

Some of us have a unique perspective of the world that most can't understand. Most people can't comprehend why we are willing to live our lives abroad in a way that most people back home consider as living on the fringes of society. We eat hand to mouth and go on days without acceptable hygiene. We even get excited when fellow travelers hand us down their leftover toiletries and lobsters.

Some of us can't handle a "9-5" schedule. Nor can we handle working 40-50 hours a week. We just can't do it. It's too stressful. And not being able to maintain a consistent work schedule can interfere with the consistencies needed to maintain a relationship.

We don't care about keeping up with the Joneses.  To a certain degree, relationships are status symbols. In order to be happily married, you have to drive that Mercedes, own a big house, and wifey needs to have the biggest and baddest diamond ring to compete with her girlfriends. Okay, that may be an exaggeration, but you get what I'm saying.  Well, we nomads don't give a damn who drives what or how big so and so's house is. We rather be traveling than imprisoned by a 30-year mortgage.

We are inherit humanitarians. We're scared that if we commit to one person, we'll stop caring about the rest of the world. We're passionate about global human rights. We don't find it fair to shop for that diamond engagement ring while most of the world is starving. One reason we travel is to understand the plight of the world.

Sorry but getting married and having kids doesn't sound as exciting as seeing the world. Hence our priorities and funds go to traveling.

But with all that said, we travelers are no less capable of love than anyone else. To understand us better, one must understand how complex we are in our thinking patterns, which can be a daunting task. And some of us are just too weird to handle.

Of course I have my days where I longed to be loved, but then there are more days where I am grateful to be single and traveling.

photo credit: eliot. via photopin cc photo credit: _Hadock_ via photopin cc